What is the difference between a child who is playing and child who is being entertained?
Play is self-directed. That is, the child decides to engage in the activity (he/she has not been instructed to). The child is actively involved and interested in the activity.
Entertainment, however, is created by someone else. It is passive. The child watches or participates on some level but is not responsible for the outcome.
Why does this difference matter?
Kids who grow up participating in self-directed play are better able to entertain themselves. They don’t always look for an adult when they are bored. In fact, they are less likely become bored at all.
Also, kids who grow up being entertained miss out on developing their imagination and their ability to problem solve. They become accustomed to the creativity of others entertaining them and their first instinct is to turn to someone else to solve minor problems instead having the confidence to solve them on their own.
Why should I worry about the development of my child’s imagination?
Imagination is the ability to form a mental image of something that is not there. This ability to think abstractly is an important building block of creativity, intelligence, and problem solving.
So…how do I encourage my child to play?
1 – Provide some simple, open-ended toys. Many modern toys are battery-operated and are manufactured to be played with in only one or two ways. Children get bored quickly with these types of toys.
Open-ended toys, on the other hand, allow children to create their own purpose for them. There are no defined expectations or outcomes. Building/creating toys such as Lego, blocks, Play-dough, are great examples of open-ended toys. But basically anything that can be used to make-believe is a great toy.
2 – Don’t over-schedule your kids. Make sure they have some time every day when they are not being told what to do and their performance is not being watched or assessed by an adult.
3 – Don’t always play with your kids. Of course it’s important to spend time with our children. But they also need time to play alone or with friends without an adult directing them. Allow them free time to choose their own activities.
If they do complain of boredom, by all means, take a few minutes and model how they could entertain themselves.
“I wonder what’s in the toy box.” (Start pulling the toys out one by one.)
“Look at these rocks. I wonder how you could sort them.”
“Look at all this paper and these crayons. I wonder what you could create with them.”
After a few minutes of guidance, be sure to announce that they’re on their own. If they return to you and insist that they’re still bored, respond with a neutral, “Oh that’s too bad.” Better yet, give them a chore to do:)
Eventually they’ll figure out you won’t entertain them and they’ll find something to do. Even if it’s just sitting and staring out the window (something my oldest son would do and it would drive me crazy!). Daydreaming is beneficial too though!
Now I do have to add here that sometimes we need our kids to be entertained, whether for fun or just for our own sanity. There is nothing wrong with plopping your kids in front of a movie and enjoying the blissful quiet that ensues. And when you’re waiting in a doctor’s office? Oh yes…time for some mobile device entertainment!
Do your kids ever complain about boredom? How do you handle those complaints?
